Digital grand moms
She is the new version of the old sari- clad spectacled grand mom. This modern age grand mom is a bit of a tech guru and may opt out of babysitting when inconvenienced, Anju Munshi finds
Here they arrive, a group of not so young women with well coiffed hair and perfectly manicured hands, saddled with their laptops, ipads and Blackberries, Facebook accounts , doing online ticketing, trading and tweeting. They can spell out the difference between Bytes and Roms, MacAfee and Norton software. Parked in a health spa with a pulse rate monitor with a digital transmission and a Blackberry, she wants to keep in shape, watches her diet and exercise regimens with an eagle’s eye. Grandchildren delight her, but it does not necessarily mean that she is a taken-for-granted babysitter. These women have left their daadima image far behind.
Grannies bending backwards to accommodate every whim of the little monsters is slowly changing her priorities, it seems. Being economically better off and less dependent on children to look after their needs has helped in the makeover, as also the digital revolution. Many of them work part-time on their computers from home. They want to gratify their own need of relaxation, enjoy freedom and fun in their golden years.
“The moment you ask your parents to come and stay with you, it’s not a favour; in a way you are getting their old age forward,” feels Elina Bhattacharjee ,40, a homemaker from Kolkata. She meets up with her in-laws once a year. Both parties treat each other informally and with great affection but also respect the need for freedom of space. “Sitting around and doing nothing tend to bring in boredom. The grand children too are hardly at home; they are either in school or for their activities, “ Bhattacharjee adds.
Social scientists find that with awareness levels rising among women about their well-being, and with an extended life span, elderly women want to maintain their cognitive abilities as long as they can. Brain games are undoubtedly popular tools for staying sharp, but they are only one of many in the arsenal of cognitive maintenance, others being physical exercise and social interaction skills. Computers today fill in most of the requirements points out Jolly Laha, a consultant from Kolkata .“It helps to build a feeling of empowerment and women love this ennobling experience,” she says.
Parvati Pillay, 58, a grandmother from Chennai enrolled in a computer training course at the age of 53. Now she runs a cybercafé. She earns well and also coaches children in the neighbourhood on computer skill
Suman Vohra, 65, a grandmother from Kolkata, feels that since lifestyle has become so hectic it is good to keep oneself occupied. “I spend time interacting with my friends on the Facebook and am a keen blogger.” She contributes to an online newspaper and gets her intellectual stimulation from there.
Skyping is a boon, feels Malini Himmatsingka, 68, from Jaipur . She needs to skype everyday with her grandson who is an undergrad student in Rhode Island, USA. “I haven’t seen my child for two years and Skype has kept my sanity in order. I feel so blessed to see and chat with him on a regular basis,” she says. After some glitches initially, she is now savvy with knowhow of downloading and installation of different software, and gives tips to her friends during her evening walks. “I check for deals on EBay and Make my Trip, an auction and a travel site respectively, and accordingly plan my activities. I also challenge the computer and play chess with it,” she laughs.
At present, Himmatsingka is taking lessons on Microsoft Excel as she wants to do her household accounting and budgeting on the computer. She finds that the children of today are so tied up with school and after- school activities that the grandparents have no time to connect or bond with them. Instead of feeling isolated and lonely, she found a great companion in her computerji.
Many find these exercises as a means to stay young and agile for they provide necessary distractions. Mental stimulation by way of puzzles and games like Scrabble, card games ,chess and Sudoko , all can be played online with no fuss and clutter and social networking via Facebook and e-mails make them stay connected.
Women in the "sandwich" generation who have both children and elderly parents to care for, never seem to have enough time to indulge in their own hobbies or relax. Once they are done with their responsibilities of education and marriage of their children, they want to do things that they could not when they were younger. So for many of them grand-parenting in the traditional sense may not be appealing. As Rohini Bhatnagar, 70, of Jammu says, “I love my own regimen without any interference. I love listening to birdsongs outside my window every morning and then make myself a nice hot cup of tea to drink with some warm buttery toast.” Her day is busy and well planned. After breakfast, she reads the tweets and face book comments. After 11 O’ clock she goes for a bridge session. Afternoons are for meets with friends over coffee followed by a swim. Back home she reads the emails and e-chats with her children and friends. “I deserve to live life quietly and on my term,” she says firmly. In the last five years
she has rediscovered many close college friends through the Facebook with whom she had lost touch. Now she has formed an e-group for her alumni and they get together often for reunions.
No wonder then, the dadis and nanis are found walking on a beach of Goa as part of a shared holiday with their friends or simply net chatting . The bahus of today can no longer think of them as default baby sitters.
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